Why Consecrated Virginity?
New Growth of an Ancient Vocation
It definitely illicits the odd guffaw when I tell people that I discovered the ancient vocation of consecrated virginity through Cosmopolitan magazine. It definitely makes me smile that God would work that way. I was in my late twenties, and I’d known for a number of years that the Lord was calling me to a celibate vocation lived in the world. I had the most tireless spiritual director in the world as we went around the houses over a number of years through the various options: secular institutes, private vows… Somehow, consecrated virginity had never come up. Then, in a moment of grace coming across the Cosmo article, I realised: Yes. This is it. This is what I’ve been searching for. It was very easy and straightforward from that moment on. I approached my archbishop and before I knew it was meeting the episcopal vicar for religious life, who commented, “What took you so long?!”, recognising that the vocation seemed a good fit.
Of course, that was the very earliest days and only the beginning. The day I laid my life down four years ago, I had little anticipation of what a complete surrender I’d entered into, and how, when you give God everything, he takes you at your word.
I didn’t know, on that day, the deep spiritual glories of a spousal life with Christ. There is something extraordinary about this life: where other vocations witness sacramentally to the love of Christ for the Church, we consecrated brides live this life, not in sign, but in reality. We live as living icons of the Bride. In other words, there’s a deeply eschatological dimension to our life - living with one foot already in Heaven.
I didn’t know, on that day, the extent to which Christ wanted to live as my true Bridegroom. There are countless times lived in a daily life when you experience the practical need of a ‘helpmate’.
Case in point: a couple of summers ago, I took my little nephew and niece camping at a Christian music festival with friends of ours. As we packed up our tent at the end, to my horror, I realised that the place hiring out the trailers to get all our camping stuff between the car and the camping field was closed. I was a sole adult with two little ones, a huge mountain of camping equipment, and a mile between us and the car. It was a moment where I sunk into the (sometimes harrowing) dependence and vulnerability of our vocation. After several minutes, though, who should approach me but a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal, who saw my predicament and offered to help! It took two trips between us and my ten-year-old nephew lugging all the stuff to the car, but we did it. The reality of me walking through a field with a man who looked, to all intents and purposes, like Jesus (!) was not lost on me! Yes, the Divine Bridegroom always comes through, in beautiful and surprising ways.
I didn’t know, on the day I was consecrated, the most incredible community of sisters that the Lord would surround me with, both here in the UK and around the world. I didn’t know that my best friends in the world would be included among these beautiful women, by whom I’d be deeply loved, affirmed, held accountable, and inspired.
I didn’t know, on that day, how being consecrated as the Lord’s spouse entails sharing with him in everything, including his passion. I’ve experienced more deeply and intensely the Paschal Mystery over the last four years, especially the Paschal Mystery of the Church, in all the ways that she both dies and rises through our moment in history. I’ve experienced more intensely the Lord’s desire to keep his brides close to him, intimately sharing all he sees and knows, all that distresses him and brings him joy. I am jealously possessed by him, in a way I’d not expected.
And finally, I didn’t know, on that day, the true spiritual motherhood I’d experience. I’m deeply moved by the souls that the Lord has entrusted to me over the last four years, the young adults I’ve informally mentored, the children in my life I’ve been able to spiritually guide, even the priests I’ve been able to walk alongside as a sister and friend. This is taking on new depths in my new location, and I’m excited to see how it unfolds.
Consecrated virginity is a gift that blows me away, again and again, with its depths and beauty and relevance to the modern world. I’ll have so much more to share on this, but here are some top facts:
It is the most ancient form of consecrated life in the Church, dating back to the earliest centuries. Sts Agnes, Cecilia, Anastasia, whom we mention in the Eucharistic canon, were consecrated virgins;
As a diocesan vocation, it is lived in the local Church: you are consecrated by your Bishop and undertake to offer your life for the prayer and service of your local Church;
As a vocation lived in the world, there are consecrated virgins who work in secular vocations (teachers, doctors, etc) and those who work in the Church. The majority in the UK work in secular vocations, while in the USA where there are more plentiful ecclesial roles, most work in the Church. We are completely independent financially with no dependence on our diocese;
My prayer commitment is to pray the five Offices of the Liturgy of the Hours and to attend daily Mass. This was another reason to move to Exmoor as, being next to a contemplative community, it makes it easier to access Mass and the sacraments;
There is no formal community commitment, but I know I would not thrive without the community of my sisters here in the UK and in the US. Thanks to technology it is possible to stay close to one another while being thousands of miles apart.
You can read more about this vocation here.